NZ +3: The Maori Experience

Had the full cultural experience this evening at Willowbank. New Zealand history, culture, wildlife, bumper stickers etc all in an hour and a half. I can safely come home now knowing there is nothing left to see...

I was chosen as tribal chief and had to stand there while a Maori warrior came out and gave it all the sticks and waving and shouting and generally scary stuff about two feet away. Then he dropped a leaf on the ground and I had two choices. I could either (a) tread on it, precipitating war or (b) pick it up and rub his nose with mine, meaning we were allowed to go in and watch the singin'n'dancin'. Advised well by the Maori guide (General Grievous in a rug) I chose the latter.

This is the Poi. Basically it's what the women do instead of the Haka* and involves swinging some oversized tennis balls around their heads on the end of a bit of string. I'm sure it had immense cultural significance.



It perhaps has less cultutral significance when done by women in anoraks...



This bit involved them chucking sticks at each other. I think we have to remember that this is the equivalent to something at home like Ye Olde Sherwood Forest Experience, where some students dress up like Robin Hood and his merry men, while perhaps still wearing their trainers, and pretend shoot arrows and steal your wallet as entertainment for tourists.

The give-away that these people were not quite the full Maori ticket was that they dropped the sticks. A lot.



The singing was outstandingly good though. I hope you spotted the genuine Maori guitar in the background.

They then did do the Haka, sans rugby kit, bringing the good ones to the front.

They did the mad staring eyes and the sticking their tongues out.





(* Although, apparently, women do the Haka too.)


We then went on a bit of a wildlife tour and saw eels and kias and lizardy things and pigs and kiwis. Now, I thought kiwis were little birds which sat in the palm of your hand, but they are about as big as chucks (**). They are also very shy, and despite being nocturnal, seemed to be very inactive even though it was pitch black and the Crocodile-Hunter-esque guide had to pick them out of the dark with a torch.

Much more entertaining were the kias, which performed and flew past your ears when you least expected giving you the fright of your life...



(** chickens)

NZ +3: Touristy Christchurch

We went into Christchurch today and spent a little more time there. Much of this time was spent eating, which seems to be a developing theme of the holiday so far, but that's not a bad thing. Here's a quick synopsis of the non-food related aspects of being a tourist in the city...



I take back what I said about Christchurch Cathedral. It's actually really lovely. Just like a mini version of a "proper" cathedral! We climbed to the top of the tower, as mentioned in Breakfast Blog Below, so you're going to get the obligatory "view from the top"...



The Minnellium Flowery Chip Cone is evident again...

This is the Lord's Prayer in Maori from a wall inside the cathedral...*



*Also available on a tea towel in the gift shop.



And the permit to take photos inside the cathedral cost $4.00, so appreciate them!



The tram is more of a tourist trap than it is a useful mode of transport for anyone. It's a circular route which seems to take about five minutes. You could possibly walk it in six. It does, however, go "ding, ding" as they should, and lends a sort of colonial aspect to the city which I thought it would have in abundance, but which actually it doesn't. (Apart from it being called Christchurch and being in Canterbury, I suppose...)



This is Scott.
Of the Antarctic.

It was while I was taking this picture that I realised, to my shame, that that's really all I know about him. Don't know when he was about, don't know his first name, don't know whether he was British or a New Zealander, don't know if he was the "I may be gone some time" man or if that was someone else. Surmised he went to the South Pole and was very brave, but have made mental note to self to learn new facts about him. Will let you know how I get on...

And finally and very quickly. As you will know, it's compulsory to take a photo of a strange telephone box. So here it is:

NZ +3: The Mirror Project

When I was in Dublin two years ago, I took a photo which showed my reflection in a plinth near a statue of Oscar Wilde. You can see that photo in The Mirror Project, which defines itself as follows...

The Mirror Project is a growing community of like-minded individuals who have photographed themselves in all manner of reflective surfaces. The Mirror Project is about self-portraiture. You should be the one holding the camera, taking the picture. You, or some part of you, and the camera should be visible within the reflection.

Two years later, and better late than never, I took another one for The Mirror Project today while we were having breakfast in Christchurch.



You'll need to click on it to enlarge and see us, but we are there, reflected in the bulb above the table. Clockwise from the top... Nessie, Me (holding the camera), Lisa and Dave.

And breakfast was lovely. Eggs, bacon (for the hypocrite vegetarians), hash browns, toast and pancakes with maple syrup. Very welcome after climbing the 134 steps to the top of the Cathedral Tower.

Dorset, UK....

Technology is such that nowadays, someone camping near Wareham, UK, can buy a little portable television off Ebay, wire it up to a car battery in the middle of a field, get a picture (of sorts) take a photo of it with their mobile phone and send the picture half way round the world so I know that, thankfully, Kemal has been evicted...



Thanks, Cesia! x

NZ +2: The Car and Sumner

Just in case we were all knackered, we had always planned for today to be fairly uncluttered and local. And it turned out to be just that. Because we were.

We spent the morning getting up and eating breakfast and watching BBC World and drinking coffee and eating more breakfast and looking at the itinerary we had planned. Nessie looked at the itinerary and advised tweaking it here and there. Partly because she knows NZ well now, but mainly because we had made basic numeracy hour errors in calculating times and distances. It all looks much more possible now.

Then we went to pick up the car. This has to be the bargain of the holiday so far (admittedly only two days in). It's cost us $1000 exactly, which is about 390 pounds. (Still can't find the pound sign, useless non-British keyboard!). Split between us, we are getting the luxious Toyota Something for 25 days, for 130 pounds each. Picture to follow, Thought it would be better to have it parked in front of something interesting....

To try it out and make sure we didn't crash while trying to turn left and giving way to the cars coming towards us turning right (which is about the only rule of the the road that's different from the UK), we went to Sumner (where there's a curry house called "Indian Sumner" - do you see what they did there?)

It's about 5 miles away from Christchurch and it looks like this:



And like this:



There's a big outcrop of rocks with some roughly hewn and weatherworn (and very slippery) steps to climb up. And when you do, that's the view you get.

The weather looks beautiful, and indeed it is. But it is also only 8°C.

Was tempted to write "Specific Ocean" in a kind of reverse homage to all those people I have met in teaching who, despite their degrees, say such things as "Do you want a pacific one? Are we doing that on a pacific day?" Of which there are more than you might think.

£ - found it!

NZ +1: Quick Dash into Christchurch

There will inevitably be some of what I write here which is more for me when I get back than it is for anyone else reading it, so apologies if parts of it seem narrative and irrelevant. They will serve as memory joggers for me when I get back... Here goes.

Settled in to Nessie's house, which is roughly here, and had showers and began to feel a bit human again.

We then went into Christchurch to have a quick look round and to buy all the things we forgot to bring with us (shaving gel) or which exploded in Lisa's suitcase (shampoo) or which were needed for the holiday journals of people who aren't 21st century enough to do it online (Pritt Stick).

We also had lunch. Here.

Discovered the New Zealand version of WHSmith which is Whitcoulls . It's actually not just the NZ version of WHSmith, it actually WHSmith with a different name. Lots of the cards and merchandise they sell is branded WHSmith. We were served today by Torina.

Also found the Christchurch Millennium Folly. It's not officially called that, but you know the kind of thing... monument or sculpture inspired by the Year 2000, not actually finished until years later, cost fourteen times as much as originally planned, no-one likes it, spoils the view of something quite nice that was already there etc... Anyone who has seen the Millennium Spire in Dublin will know what I'm getting at here...

Anyway, here's the Christchurch version...



The thing that it spoils the view of is Christchurch Cathedral. Which, if it were back in the UK, whould be called "a small church".

Oh, and we also saw this in the supermarket car park. Click on it to enlarge and read the wording.



Apparently it's totally legal here to set yourself up to openly sell (split infinitive) party drugs from the back of a van so long as they are only "herbal".

Back tomorrow.

NZ +1: Nessie

This is Vanessa, who is only really Vanessa officially, so shall henceforth be referred to as Nessie. Her house (with exotic southern hemisphere plants in the garden) is our base here and this is her welcoming us with open arms.

At some point, you might even get a photo of her cat, Sam.

At Singapore Changi Airport

Well, survived the 12 hour flight. Only the nine hour one to go.

The airport here is very luxurious, carpet up the walls etc. Nothing like the cramped, out-dated conditions at Heathrow.

All needed to eat so despite the offers of sushi and rice with everything, (which I promise is not a cliche at this airport), we went for Burger King. Not very exotic I know, but only equivalent of 6 pounds (no pound sign...) for 3 people. And the man on the Singapore dollars looks bloody miserable.

See you in about 12 hours. Have some photos from the flight to post, but no way of connecting camera here.... (They are now below...)

About 10 hours into Flight 1

This is where we were....



And this is what it looked like



And this is what I was doing...



Having watched three films already, I decided to be cerebral. But I didn't finish it. I post it here only as a challenge for all teachers reading this who, like me, have time on their hands until September 1.

Countdown: Gone...

Booked it...
Packed it...
etc

Bye!